Recently, I received a very unexpected text message from my ex-boyfriend. It was a few days shy of one month since I last communicated with him. I was caught off guard not because so much time had passed but because his message was, "Hey Happy Valentines Day."
When I got the message I freaked out. Of all the days and all the messages he had to text me on Valentine’s Day. Seriously! Perhaps I’ve blocked all kind gestures made in the past, but I don’t remember getting Valentine’s texts or any romantic gestures for the holiday.
While I was debating my response, I messaged one of my best friends and told her, "That motherlover texed me."
Her response: "That’s good! You wanted to remain friends, right?!" This made me stop and re-evaluate my reaction.
She was right. The decision was to be friendly. Earlier that day I sent similar Valentine’s Day messages to two of my friends. So why not him? After ignoring the message and going about my day, I decided to simply return the pleasantry. He responded with an "Ok, thanks." and I with "You’re welcome." I figured the message exchange would end there, but it didn’t.
His next text asked, "How is life for you?" Several thoughts were running through my head at this time: (1) Why?! Just leave it. (2) I wish my life was a lot better than it actually is. (3) We’re friends now, just be casual.
It’s a no brainer, really. We agreed to be friends, so I removed my emotions and tried to be as casual as possible. I realized that’s the secret to this whole “Let’s be friends” situation. Don’t reading between the lines. There’s nothing romantic going on anymore. The initial text didn’t secretly mean "I want you back." It means exactly what it says.
It’s the same for other situations. I wish people would just say what they mean instead of being passive aggressive. That’s why we’re always trying to read between the lines. We’d all be all be a little less stressed out if we didn’t beat around the bush. Tell the truth, nicely of course.
My mom has had these earrings for years. She told me they were originally black so I decided to paint them with an old bottle of nail polish. This is the first DIY project I’ve actually completed…kinda sad.